Perchance Read online

  Did she just call her Semi? Really?

  I turned around quickly. “What’s your name again?”

  “It’s Chrissie.” The other girls giggled and it sounded like a cage of Sun Conures.

  I cleared my throat, “Chrissie, my girl’s name is Remi, not Semi, and you can give your guaranteed date to someone else. I’m not interested.”

  I turned back and Remi was there, standing in the entrance to the cafeteria. She was looking smug as can be and I was actually glad that she saw all of that.

  I walked up to her and kissed her temple and we made for our tree.

  Remi said she had stuff to do after school and then she had homework. She said she would text me before she went to sleep. Eric and I drove down to Zachary and ate at a Mongolian Bar-b-que place. He didn’t have to go in until nine that night, so we had time to do some stuff. We talked about school and Remi. He said something about my mom getting a new position at her hospital and she hadn’t even told me that. Weird…I was going to have to ask her about it. Why was he talking to my Mom? I had been calling her every day.

  We got home and I was stuffed. Eric got dressed and went to work and I answered some e-mails from people in North Carolina. I had friends, but none of them had called me, just emailed or poked me on Facebook. I had finished my homework earlier. So I decided to make myself read some of the Bell Jar that was due on Monday. It was so bloody depressing and I really didn’t want to read some of the girly parts about her girly parts. I slammed it shut and turned on my iPod. I was almost asleep when my phone made a gunshot noise. It scared the holy hell out of me, but then I remembered that I had changed Remi’s message tone to sound like a gun. The sound of a Pistol.

  I looked at the phone with the earbuds still in my ears.

  Remi: Still awake?

  Me: Yeah, listening to music. U?

  Remi: Not sleepy

  Me: Wanna talk?

  Remi: If ur not tired.

  Me: Nah. Call me.

  The phone rang and I took out my earbuds.

  We talked until nearly midnight. She started yawning and said we should both get some sleep.

  “Cooper?” I heard her say and she sounded far away and drowsy like she was falling asleep.

  “Yeah Remi.”

  “You’re so good to me.”

  I hung up the phone before I said something she and I weren’t ready for. Well, not me as much as her. I needed to keep myself in check for her sake. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to help her be who she wanted to be. And when she was finished, and all the way through, I would still be there waiting, hoping she was waiting for me too.

  Remi

  I woke up and the phone was glued to my face and it was playing “Somebody to Love” by Jefferson Airplane. Cooper’s ringtone that he had set on my phone. Waking up to Psychedelic rock…not cool.

  “Hello?” I was not happy about being woken up by Paul Kanta…whatever his name was.

  “Hey there Sunshine.” Seriously?

  “What has you so darn chipper this morning?” I sat up and pried the phone from my face and put it on speaker, so I could get dressed.

  “I was going to tell you what I found out from Troy. On Fridays we can go off campus for lunch. And I was wondering…”

  I heard a horn outside. “Crap, I gotta go Cooper, Josie is already here and I’m not even dressed yet. See you at school.”

  “There’s so many ways to respond to that Remi.”

  “Shut it Neal.” I hung up the phone and scrambled to put my hair in a ponytail and grab the first pair of jeans and a white scoop neck t shirt I could find. I ran to brush my teeth and would handle the rest in the car.

  I ran out and was so out of breath that I couldn’t even talk to Josie. She giggled at me and said “Simma down girl. We’ll make it.”

  “Crap on a cracker, I must look like the crypt keeper.” I pulled down the mirror and tried to put some concealer and powder on to cover up my dark circles.

  “You could go without sleep for six weeks and still be gorgeous Remi. Give me a break.”

  I put some shimmer lip balm and some apricot lotion on and threw my hands up in the air.

  “That’s as good as it gets.”

  We pulled into school and we were on time, but needed to get a move on.

  I looked over the parking lot and didn’t see Cooper. His car was there, and she looked like she was missing her best friend. We walked into school while Josie tried to make up cockamamie reasons why Cooper and Troy weren’t at their cars. It went on and on. Alien abduction, mob activity, invisibility. She was hilarious this morning. Troy’s humor was rubbing off on her.

  I went to my locker and there was a note attached to a bag which contained a granola bar and a bottle of grape juice. The note said that he was in the office trying to get some kind of pass that Seniors had to have in their car if they went off campus.

  I missed seeing his face more than I would ever admit to. Even though we had agreed that school was my priority, I couldn’t help the fact that he was on my mind and my priorities had been rearranged for me. I needed to focus on school. What was I getting myself into?

  After third period, I went to my locker to drop some stuff and was making my way to Cooper’s car when I stopped to use the bathroom. I was in the stall, minding my business when I saw four pairs of matching tennis shoes walk into the bathroom. Oh great, Pippy, Skippy, Dippy and Rippy are here.

  I didn’t know what their names were but those seemed to fit. I was trying to wait them out. But I was going to be late for lunch, so I just came out of the stall. I washed my hands under their glare. I thought I was going to get away without a comment, but I was wrong. As I reached for the handle, the Pippy one started in on me.

  “Ugh, so I’ve tried to figure it out, but I still don’t see what Cooper sees in you Demi. Why would he want you when he can have this? Whatever it is, when he gets it, he’ll be done with you. I’m not being mean. I’m just giving you some friendly advice. I wouldn’t want to see a sweet girl like you get hurt.”

  I opened the door and looked back at her with more backbone that I thought I’ve ever had.

  “It’s Remi and apparently I have something you don’t.”

  I walked out to the parking lot and got into the passenger side of the Cuda without a word. All of the sudden, the words that I in seconds, resolved not to let bother me, were clouding over me. It was the same thing I had been warned about for years. They love you and leave you.

  I looked out of the passenger window while Cooper drove and Troy made jokes about his math teacher’s pants being from the 1970’s. I purposely had my left hand occupied with holding the handle of the car door so Cooper wouldn’t reach for it. I didn’t want to be touched right now.

  We parked at a place called Ruth’s and got out to eat. Josie fired me a ‘What the hell?’ look but I didn’t want to say anything.

  I purposefully steadied my gaze directly in front of me as we made our way through the parking lot.

  “Hey guys, go get a table, I need to tell Remi something, ok?”

  They nodded and he took my hand and brought me back to his car and sat on the hood. I pulled my hand from his and he winced.

  “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

  “Look, it’s noth…”

  “Don’t even think about finishing that sentence. Spill it.”

  I stood there for a few seconds threatening my eyes that if they cried I would stab them with ice picks.

  “Ugh…fine. One of those cheerleader girls and her group of cheerfreaks were in the bathroom before lunch and that one blondie, you know…” I pointed to my chest moving from left to right trying to convey that I was talking about the one who rivaled Dolly Parton “which one I’m talking about?”

  “Yeah, like I’m gonna comment on that. But yeah, I know the blonde screechy one. Why?”

  “She just spouted some stuff about not knowing what you see in me. And God’s honest truth? I don’t either. I know t
hat sounds girly and like I’m fishing for compliments, but it is what it is. And then she said that when you got what you wanted from me you would be gone. Can we please go eat lunch now?” I said it so fast hoping that he wouldn’t catch most of it.

  “Ok, so you completely despise her and yet you believe what she says and are giving her our time together? Why?” Damn him, why did he have to be so sensible about it?

  I looked up to the sky trying to figure myself out then back down at his face.

  “I have no idea. Stupid, huh?” At this point I was selling tickets to my own stupid show.

  “Nope, not stupid, you are the farthest thing from stupid. But you trust me right?”

  I nodded.

  “And I trust you. So, what you need to do is start trusting in us. Plus, apparently I need to tell you what I do see in you more often. And right now I don’t see any food in you. So forget the mean teen queen and let’s go!”

  “Ughhh…..” I groaned as he hugged me and then we went into the restaurant.

  Troy made us laugh until we cried at lunch. Josie was giving me a glare and I would tell her later what happened. We made plans to meet up Sunday after church to go to someplace called Tunica Hills and I was relieved that I wasn’t going to go alone with Cooper. I liked him, a lot more than one probably should after a couple of weeks, but I wasn’t ready to get that…I don’t know…heavy? I mean I did, but it wasn’t part of my plan. Cooper was throwing a wrench into my plan, but did I really care anymore? This whole thing was befuddling me.

  We got back to school and I had a history test already, first week of school, but I know that I Aced it. We were all invited to watch a movie and eat pizza at Josie’s house so we decided to meet up that night at six. When I got there, everybody was already there. Josie’s parents were gone on a date and we all sat down to watch Paranormal Activity and Paranormal Activity 2. I loved scary movies.

  We all sat around and Josie and Troy were hugged up on one corner of the loveseat and Cooper and I sat together on the bigger couch. He was sitting close, but not that close. He held my hand but that was it. My brain and my heart were playing ping pong with each other. One moment I was remembering that school and a career were my only priorities. Then I would just look at him and know that wasn’t true anymore. I was overthinking and analyzing it so deeply that when something moved unexplainably in the movie I screamed like I’ve never screamed before.

  Of course they all busted out laughing at me.

  Cooper put his arm around my shoulders as he laughed along with the others. We continued to watch the first movie and after it was over, Troy and Josie…um…excused themselves to another room. It made me uncomfortable because Cooper and I were not getting physical at all. And while that was good for me since I wanted to keep us not as serious, it was still weird being in the same house while they were…whatever they were doing.

  I felt him looking at me instead of the TV and I didn’t know whether to look at him or not.

  “Quit it.” I said while I smiled.

  “You’re all blushy and you are about to tear all of the skin from your thumb nail.”

  The side of my thumb around the nail was red now from me picking at it.

  “It’s just kinda awkward, you know?” I said, hoping that he would catch my drift.

  “Yeah, no kidding. You want to leave? I can walk you home.” Ugh, I did and I didn’t.

  “Not really, but I don’t want to be here either.”

  “What do you want to do?” He looked like he didn’t care either way, which irked me.

  “I guess I can go home.” And I got up to walk out.

  “Ok, let me walk you there.” And he opened the front door for me and we walked towards home.

  I was disappointed that he was so ready to get rid of me and it showed in my trying to walk at full speed.

  “Jeez Rem, you don’t have to run. Unless you are trying to get away from me faster.” He was laughing, but I wasn’t.

  I stopped and glared at him.

  “I’m not trying to get away from you. You just seem like you don’t care either way so I was making it easier on you.” I shrugged to relay my nonchalance about the whole thing.

  He looked at me like I was in stage thirty three of the thirty five stages of mental.

  “I was trying to help you get out of that situation,” he was creeping closer and closer as he spoke to me. “And I was going to invite you over to my apartment, but I didn’t want to freak you out or give you the wrong idea. So then when you decided that you didn’t want to be there, I thought the best thing to do was to make sure you got home ok.”

  By the time he was finished, he was almost in my face, toe to toe with me standing on the corner of his street and mine.

  He opened his mouth to continue and as he did I backed up a few steps.

  “But let me just make it clear, crystal clear, to you. If I could Remi, I would spend all the time I could with you. Before school, after school, on weekends. I would be the one bringing you to school and back home. I wouldn’t want you to be angry and walking home right now. I wouldn’t want you to take the word of some stupid cheerleader over me. And that’s what you’re doing. You’re still giving her our time and your thoughts. I would want you to want to spend the rest of the night with me and know that I would never try anything on you. I just want you to know that if you go home right now, it’s because you want to, not because I want you to.”

  He practically whispered the words to me, which was almost worse, I thought, than if he was yelling. And he was right. I was the one who was questioning and unsure about things. He had never done anything to make me think otherwise. He looked me straight in the eyes while he spoke, his green eyes telling me everything behind those black rimmed glasses that were reflecting the street light above us.

  I couldn’t find the words. But I needed to fix this. So I just went with what I felt. I took a step towards him. He looked at me, wondering what I was going to do next. I took a deep breath. And another. I finally worked up the courage and put my arms around him and rested my forehead on his chest. I didn’t know how he was going to react, but of course rejection was the first scenario that came into my mind. And just as quickly as it came, he made it go away.

  His arms came around me, one on my back and the other on the back of my head. He bowed his head and his face and lowered them to rest on the top of my head. I let out an enormous sigh and he chuckled into my hair. We stayed there, embracing under the yellow glare of the streetlight that connected our paths to each other.

  “Ok, I’m making the decision for you. We’re going to my apartment. Just to talk and hang out, yeah?”

  “Yeah” was all I could muster.

  We walked the small distance to his tiny apartment above the garage and the Cuda was in the driveway. I ran my hand along the side of the beauty and he looked back at me and laughed.

  “Damn, way to make a guy jealous.” I laughed with him.

  “You? I was thinking the same thing. She gets to go everywhere with you.”

  “We can fix that.”

  “Hmmmm….we’ll see.”

  We walked up the narrow stairs to his place and he unlocked the door and let me in first. It was clean, with the exception of some clothes hanging on the back of a chair. But for a boy, very clean. Scout was a mess and trudging through his room was close to impossible. But he was my brother, so I forgave him.

  He had two older looking recliners in front of a TV and thank the Lord he chose to sit there instead of the other choice, the bed. He put on some music that reminded me of the radio station that my Mom used to listen to.

  “Who is that? My Mom used to listen to that.” I asked.

  “Are you serious? That’s Blue Oyster Cult.”

  “Do you have their t shirt?” I giggled.

  “Did you just make fun of my shirts? I love those shirts.”

  “I can tell. You wear one every day. “

  “Ugh, my grandma hates them. She alway
s makes a big production of pointing them out and rolling her eyes or saying ‘Really Cooper?’”

  “Ha! I like her already.” I was just joking. I did love the band t shirts. But I usually had no idea who the people on them were.

  He came to sit by me and the song on the radio said something about ‘Reeper’ and I thought that was weird.

  “So, tell me more about your Mom.” I wasn’t ready to tell him about my baggage yet.

  He sat back in his chair looking like he was trying to find a place to start.

  “Mom’s name is Trish, and she’s a nurse. She and my Dad met right after she finished nursing school. He came in after some kind of car accident. He wasn’t hurt, but they made him go to the hospital anyway. They dated a short while, got married, got pregnant with me and then he took off. After she had me, we lived with my grandparents for a few years and then they died, one after the other. My Mom had a hard time with it. We still live in their house and it was paid off so that made everything a lot easier on her. I don’t think she’s ever called in sick or been late. She’s a good nurse from what I’ve heard. She makes the best chicken spaghetti in the world. She taught me to take care of myself and be responsible. She’s a great Mom. I miss her a lot, but I’m getting to like Eric and even though I was pissed that she sent me, now I’m glad she did.” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

  It was a very big deal. His Mom was my hero at this point. She had gotten an education and had a way to support herself even when his Dad had left.

  Cooper

  I didn’t realize it until I had told her about my Mom what I had done. But what I had done was…well I think I scared her. My Dad had left us when she was pregnant with me. But that didn’t mean I was going to leave her. I mean, not that I was going to get her pregnant…good grief I’m going to drive myself insane. I felt like I needed to backtrack, but didn’t know how.

  “So tell me about your Mom.”

  I could tell it was not going to be easy for her. She shifted in her seat and looked around the room, everywhere but at me.

  “Her name is Lacey. My mom and Dad got married after he graduated high school while she was in the middle of her Senior year. She quit school after they got married and stayed at home with me. Then they had Tuesday, she’s fifteen and has a fondness for stealing. And then she got pregnant with Scout and Sable. My Dad left about a week before she went into labor with twins. He took all of the money out of the savings account, everything in the bank. We didn’t have much family that I knew of because Dad had moved us out to Texas away from everybody. He got drunk almost every night. So she was stuck with four kids and no job, no job experience, not even a high school diploma. She works two full time jobs and we still barely made it.”