Hearten (Bayou Bear Chronicles) Read online

  Text Copyright ©2014, by Lila Felix and Rebel Writer Productions. Burden and Hearten (The Bayou Bear Chronicles). The series, characters, names, and related indicia are trademarked and © by Lila Felix and Rebel Writer Productions.

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  To my husband:

  Like these bears, I took one look at you and knew.

  Hearten, Book 2 of the Bayou Bear Chronicles

  Prologue

  Martha was always in that damned room. I hoped to the Creator that she couldn’t see me from her window. She’d probably call the Alpha and report me for being a pervert. There were so many things I could draw from this vantage point, but every time I figured something out, more questions were raised.

  She sat in that room day and night, unless the Coeur was visiting. The room, bright and yellow, like she was, stood out at the front of the house. From where I was, high in the branches, I could see everything she did—her movements, the way she pushed her hair behind her ear—all of it.

  The whole thing bordered on stalking—but it was the only way for me to learn more about her without actually making the connection.

  Can a person’s mate be a stalker?

  Yet, my connection to her was overwhelming. I could hardly bear to stay away from her.

  Possession and protective urges stirred in my chest as I looked at her.

  I didn’t know that this was how finding my mate would be.

  I thought mates remained unaware of their counterparts until their bond was cemented by gazing into the other’s eyes. I’d never heard any different.

  Then again, you don’t hear much by yourself in a cabin on the outskirts of the clan.

  The first time I saw her talking to Echo, our clan’s Coeur, I knew that wasn’t true. She called to me.

  My bear and I had been restless ever since.

  We knew our mate.

  We knew it was Martha.

  She got up, grabbed her laptop, and eased in sideways to a large cream chaise lounge tucked into a corner of the room. I knew the routine all too well, but had no idea the meaning behind the constant musical chairs business. She worked from home. Maybe she was a paralegal or perhaps some kind of website designer—next came the headphones. I might not be able to handle it if she listened to heavy metal—maybe it would grow on me. As she fiddled with them, I noticed they were ear buds, the things that stuck all the way into your ears nearly deafening the wearer.

  That must be why when people knocked on her door, sometimes she didn’t answer.

  I’d heard the Coeur complain on more than one occasion about Martha not answering text messages.

  “Up in a tree? Really? Are you a bear or a possum? I should go over to her house and tell her that you’re a creeper.”

  Tarrow—someone should kick his ass. There’s something wrong with that bear. He consistently made off the wall comments and irritating noises. He was all business in meetings and was an excellent Beta, but as soon as we were dismissed he fell into some kind of surfer boy trance that caused him to act like a foolish, pre-pubescent cub.

  When the Alpha had expanded his lands and we knew how much more work it was, he’d called Tarrow back to work.

  All he was doing was fooling around in the swamp anyway.

  I said nothing as I took the branches jump by jump until I was on the ground next to him with a thud. Not speaking was expected of me. I only spoke if I was spoken to—or if the Alpha recognized the look in my eyes. He said I had a look that was undeniable if I wanted to say something that I thought was important. The Alpha had a dangerous level of unfounded faith in me. Since he’d taken a chance on me, I’d decided to dedicate my life to serving him as Beta the best I could—which meant keeping an almost twenty four hour a day watch on our clan and our lands.

  “That’s fine, Tarrow. I’ll assume that you, in turn, would like me to inform…I could always track her down.”

  He began to back away from me, palms out, nodding his head in a furious show of a negative answer.

  I didn’t think so. The thing about being quiet most of the time was the unlimited amount of things I could learn from pure observation.

  And Tarrow’s obvious love interest hadn’t escaped my notice.

  With the nosey bastard finally out of my line of sight, I allowed myself one more look at her lighted bedroom window and then reconfirmed my oath to myself.

  You’re too set in your ways to have a mate. You’re too focused on being a responsible member of this clan.

  You don’t have time.

  And you don’t deserve it.

  Rev

  I was there at Flint’s house, but only because the Alpha had commanded me to go. It was a good thing—the baby blessing. It was a chance for Hawke to weld the clan together formally and show that he was anxious to get us back to where we once were.

  What I didn’t like were all these people, and by the looks on their faces around the room, they didn’t particularly like me either.

  One thing they did like—Martha.

  They moved in little groups of two or three, asking her questions, making small talk and then moving on when the next herd looked like they were moving in for the kill. She handled each one with grace, smiling that brilliant smile and taking the time to really talk to each person.

  The only person who’d spoken to me was Tarrow and the Alpha pair, and I hated Tarrow.

  No, hate is too strong of a word.

  Tarrow grated on the very last fraction of my very last nerve.

  The Coeur spoke to her mate, looking back and forth between people. She would whisper something and then he would nod in agreement.

  After a while, Martha’s visitors grew thin in number and I took the opportunity to concentrate on the grain in the wood floors beneath me. She was my mate—there was no doubt about that.

  But did she want someone like me?

  Let’s face it. I was crass. Yes, I always told the truth, but it wasn’t always worded in a way that would soothe most people. In fact, I mostly went around insulting people. I was also a caveman to their refinement. Even at this par
ty, Echo, our Coeur, had made me promise to wear shoes and a button down shirt. Just when I thought I’d get away with not wearing one, simply because I didn’t own one—she went out and bought me a shirt—and pants—and a damned belt.

  She made me promise against the Alpha’s life that I would wear shoes.

  She said I could leave at nine. You can make it twenty more minutes, Rev.

  The spoken words were heard but barely registered.

  It all happened so fast.

  I looked up for one reason only.

  The Alpha yelled, from across the room. “Rev is bleeding!”

  I wasn’t bleeding, the Alpha had been mistaken.

  You can’t bleed from staring at the flooring in the most uncomfortable clothes known to man.

  But at the sound of Martha’s feminine gasp, I had to look. If something made her gasp for breath, and whatever it was had hurt her or scared her, then I would have to take care of it—confirmed mate or not.

  She was already looking at me.

  The Alpha’s declaration had made her look at me—look right in my eyes.

  And everything locked into place.

  It had all been jangling around for too long.

  No one could’ve prepared me for this sensation. Needles filed down through my veins bringing them to attention and igniting my blood. Complete and filling terror was my first thought. My heart seized in my chest. I was dying. This was it. A cloud of knowing fogged my brain and filtered out all other thoughts. My throat and lungs grappled for the oxygen they were deprived of. The bond sent icicles through my consciousness and a thousand medical hypotheses through my brain. All of those things happened within a millisecond.

  My gaze was locked with hers though I’d fought it for so long. I found myself drowning blissfully in the abyss of our connection. Cravings and instincts I didn’t know I held burst forth, tearing at what little will I had left. The bear inside clawed at my psyche, begging to get out and claim what he’d known was his for so long.

  It seemed like forever since I’d first seen her.

  Her.

  I’d avoided her. I did my best to not be where she was at all times. I’d known she was my mate the first time I’d caught her scent when helping the Coeur transfer materials for her mating gift. It was an easy thing to do. Most people avoided me anyway—and as hypocritical as it sounded, I watched her while I avoided her. As long as eye contact wasn’t made, I could know that she was my mate from now to kingdom come without securing the bond. I hadn’t counted on my matchmaker Alpha doing what I couldn’t. Of course, all that was null and void, at this point. Now she and I were bound, but she deserved more than a tunnel-visioned Beta who for too long had holed himself up in a cabin made for one, yet held two.

  She deserved the world.

  A corner of my mouth rose in a knowing smile as my heartbeat made me complete again. No words were shared between us, but I knew the life-giving thump in my chest was in exact rhythm with hers. I belonged to her now for eternity. I thought I’d always belonged to her.

  It was too late. All my avoiding and evading her was in vain. She was mine, completely and wholly, and everything in me clung to that position.

  Martha’s dark brown eyes shone in knowing. We were all pre-conditioned to recognize the mating confirmation when it happened to us.

  I didn’t want this.

  Hell yes, I wanted this.

  I didn’t want it for her.

  “Rev,” she whimpered, probably not understanding why I hadn’t yet approached her. Just the sound of my name on her lips caressed the feral brute, the other side of me, and he amped up his battle against my human will. Immediately, I became aware of her emotions alongside my own. Deep inside me, I could feel her confusion, her absolute craving for me to touch her. She was also tampering down her bear, who needed the connection only touching mates could experience.

  I was hopeless to deny her even one more second.

  The crowd made a ravine for me to get to her. In the few seconds it took for me to cross the room, she’d gone weak at the knees and was holding out her arms for me. A blast of pride shot through me as I realized how much this creature needed me. This beautiful creature needed something only I could give her—how much she would always need me like this—how much just one touch would quell the rattling of emotions buried within.

  I caught her in my arms just in time and pulled her against my chest. I inhaled her scent as my nose phantomed against her smooth neck—her scent was all things rain—the wind, the droplets, and wet grass. It was like being surrounded by a thunderstorm. My hand smoothed her thick, wavy hair while a thousand feelings flooded her consciousness. Whispers and joyous secrets surrounded us as the entire room apparently became aware of what had just happened.

  “Can you take me home,” she breathed against my chest. I could’ve taken her home. There was nothing more in the world I wanted than to rush her to my home and make sure that my scent was embedded deep in her skin for all to know. The animalistic side of me demanded I do just that. But I supposed she meant back to her home.

  The bastard inside, not the bear, but the bastard of a man in me, wished if the mate claim had to occur, that at least it would have occurred more privately. As it was, we were surrounded by most of the pack—most of whom still turned a curious eye my way when I entered a room no matter what their words said otherwise.

  Looking down at her face, I couldn’t conjure the word ‘no’.

  “Yes.”

  I turned around to face the Alpha, silently asking permission with my eyes to leave the occasion and take care of my mate. I didn’t suppose it was something I necessarily needed to do, but I was set in the old ways.

  My mate.

  I never thought I’d be able to say that.

  He nodded at me in knowing and ticked his eyes in the direction of the door, bidding me exit. I spotted the Coeur, our Alpha’s female, at his side with an ear to ear grin, giving me or us a thumbs up. Her hints to me about Martha had been relentless and seemed to have grown day by day. I was relieved to be free of those awkward moments. Martha and I turned and we naturally folded together, my arm over her shoulders, her head against my side and her arm around my back. I used the moment to our advantage, tucking my fingers into her sleeve, enough touch to calm her. Chauffeuring a now quivering female from River’s home, I tried my best to keep my hold on her, blocking her from the wind and the drizzling beginnings of a Louisiana thunderstorm. A peal of lightning broke the darkness around us and Martha jolted at the sight. The only sound I could hear over the drumming of my heart was the crashing of thunder in the skies.

  As we neared her home, I wondered about all the logistics of being a mated couple. Her home was bigger and much more comfortable than mine. I thought my cabin could fit into her living room.

  When we got inside, she was still shivering, and pure instinct took over. I stripped my soaking jacket from her shoulders and reached for the first blanket I saw. She stood just inside the threshold of the door, refusing or not able to move yet. Not even asking for permission, I picked her up and sat her on the couch and covered her with the blanket.

  Her eyes were so big and vibrant—the eyes I had avoided for completely selfish reasons—reasons I now couldn’t think of in the haze of my mate.

  I sat down next to her, hesitant in my movements for fear of overstepping my bounds. I’d seen both sides of the mated pair coin. I’d seen the former Alpha and his wife, a shrimp of a woman, who cowered in the presence of her husband and barely spoke to anyone. The Alpha was feared by everyone, not out of respect or love, but out of genuine fear for their lives and prosperity.

  Matthias hadn’t been half the Alpha that Hawke was.

  A shiver tore through my wracking my chest—but I wasn’t cold. It was her. She was cold next to me and just sat there like a tit on a boar hog, useless and pathetic.

  “You’re cold. What can I do?”

  Five minutes in and already I was a horrible mate.

/>   My words broke her from a cold stare at the rain outside. “I’ll put on a pot of coffee. Maybe—maybe we can—talk?”

  She made a move to get up, but I stopped her with my hand on hers. This wasn’t right. None of this was right. I was her male now. I belonged to her. Her every wish and need was tethered to my chest.

  “No, let me. You sit and rest. Are there more blankets?”

  No, idiot. She’s only got one blanket in the whole joint.

  She smiled up at me like the moron I was and mumbled something about the hallway closet. I made quick work of getting more blankets from the closet, but when I returned she was up and already in the kitchen.

  Stubborn.

  I loved a stubborn woman.

  Allowing myself a moment, my eyes closed and honed in on the swirls of feelings going through her. She was scared and nervous, but mostly she was excited.

  The bear side of me clamored to be released and join his mate, but I held him steady. If she was scared and nervous around me in human form, then there was no telling what she’d feel around my animal.

  Martha

  I admitted it to myself. My dreams and fantasies were crushed. The admittance was downright heartbreaking.

  It wasn’t Rev who’d broken my heart.

  My own hopes had broken that beating, sympathetic sap of a heart. I was a writer and whether or not I wrote romance didn’t stop me from playing it all out in my head. I supposed human girls formed dream filled bubbles about getting married in white dresses to their prince charming, but when I was a girl that was the tail end of my dreams. Shifters’ fantasies worked a little bit differently, or maybe it was only mine.

  I’d never seen the first look of a mate claim. It was usually something that happened in a more private situation. Ours had been a little forced—Hawke and his big mouth.

  I needed to bake him a cake.

  And smash it in his face.

  How dare he force it.

  I loved him for it.

  I set up the coffee pot with a bit of unnecessary force, begging the hot, welling tears to go back into hiding.

  It was all wrong.

  He was supposed to be overcome with emotion and furious passion when our eyes met, rush towards me in a fury of uncontrollable want. He was supposed to scoop me up and take me in the most delicious kiss and make me weak from head to toe.