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  “Owen says it’s because I’m weird like the Mad Hatter.” I would always whine, stomping my foot wearing cartoon character pajamas.

  “What have I told you about that Mad?” This was always the point where she would prop her fists up on her hips.

  “When Owen says something mean I should ask Falcon, if it really hurts my feelings.”

  “Why?” She pressed.

  “Because Falcon doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.” I wouldn’t understand how true that was until much later—but truth it was. She would squat down and get to my eye level and hold on to my forearms as she drove her point home.

  “If you ever need to know the right thing to do, ask Falcon. He won’t ever steer you wrong.”

  “What about Owen?” I would always ask her.

  “Owen acts before he thinks. It’s not a bad thing, but sometimes it gets him in trouble. Falcon is your rock, don’t ever forget that.”

  I should’ve told him. I should’ve confided in Falcon. He wouldn’t have steered me wrong. I should’ve trusted my brother, but it was too late now.

  The sign which read ‘Welcome to Kansas’ brought me out of my memories along with my stomach growling. We had been on the road for about five hours and had decided to take the Southern route through Kansas since Nixon wanted to cover as many states as possible. We stopped in a town called Taylorville and I woke Nixon up when I parked.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked him as he stretched.

  “Are swamp rats ugly?” He quipped.

  I pointed in front of us instead of retaliating and his mouth dropped open. He got out of the car and practically ran to the door of the restaurant. I don’t know how I managed to find a Creole restaurant smack dab in middle America but I had. Nixon got on his knees in front of the door and thanked Jesus like he was in front of the pulpit. An older couple came out and he pretended to weep and asked the older woman for a tissue. She shook her head and kept walking.

  I jerked him up by his sleeve and we walked in. Inside floor to ceiling were crawfish nets, Spanish moss, and Zydeco music playing from the speakers.

  “Well slap my ass and call me Shirley,” Nixon said as he gazed in wonder at the Cajun collage before us.

  The waiter showed us to a booth and didn’t flinch a bit when Nixon ordered three sweet teas. We both got gumbo and bananas foster cheesecake for dessert. Nixon sat back, fat and happy, rubbing his belly like an old man.

  “You’re no fun anymore.” He said as he paid the ticket.

  “What? I’m fun.”

  “No, you’re not. Can’t we just enjoy the road trip and in between the Daddy stops?”

  “Ok, ok, Mad the clown, reporting for duty.” I made my point by blowing a straw paper in his face.

  He stood in the booth and proclaimed, “He’s back ladies and gentleman, finally he’s back!”

  “Shut up and sit down you moron.” I laughed at him while the whole restaurant clapped at the anonymous news.

  “Now,” he pointed at me, pleased with himself, “Now we can have a road trip.”

  Chapter 9

  Reed

  I put my wedding dress on sometimes when I knew Falcon wouldn’t come home for a while.

  I laid in bed during the early hours of the morning, reading Pride and Prejudice—again. I hadn’t heard from Mad or Nixon in three days. It worried me. They never called to tell me how the Omaha search panned out. I wanted to text Nixon but was afraid it would tip off Maddox.

  And this waiting until marriage thing was starting to suck—hard.

  Every day now, not only did I have to control myself but I now had to stop Falcon from seeing the tattoo on my rib cage which meant restricted hand roaming. He didn’t say anything about it and never would but I could tell he was as irked as I was. Last night he stayed at his apartment which was the first time in months. I tried not to take it personally. Everyone needs their space sometimes. But I knew it was more than that. I had been distant lately, constant worry reeling through my head and he knew it. There was an invisible but very real wall between us but I needed to stay here on my side of the wall until I found out where Mad’s father was. And that was the plan on my part. As soon as Nixon let me know Mad had for sure found his father, I would let Falcon and Owen know where he was. Because once he found him, he would need Falcon’s head and maybe Owen’s brawn to get him through it in one piece, whether he admitted it or not.

  My phone vibrated, alerting me to a text message.

  Falcon: Don’t know what’s going on.

  Reed: I’ve got some things on the brain. Not ready to talk yet.

  Falcon: Let me know the minute you’re ready?

  Reed: Of course.

  Falcon: I got you and Nellie a present.

  Reed: What is it?

  Falcon: Bringing them over now.

  Reed: Them?

  Falcon: Yes.

  I got up and got dressed. I wracked my brain for what he could purchase that he would also refer to as them while I waited. Nellie got to the house first and just belted through the front door.

  “I’m glad I’m not naked Nellie, jeez.”

  “I am not tryin’ to look at your booty Reed. Anyway, after y’all are married I’ll stop barging in—maybe.”

  “Thanks for that,” I said and got her hot pink zebra print coffee cup down from the cabinet. She took it and filled her cup and added enough sugar and cream for a village.

  “Did he tell you what he bought,” I asked her.

  She looked at me like I was a rotten egg, “Who?”

  “Didn’t Falcon call you and tell you to come over here?” I inquired.

  “No, I just wanted to see your mug.” She pointed to the coffee cup and then to my face. “Get it, mug? Anyway why am I supposed to come over here?”

  I rolled my eyes at her joke, “He bought us something.”

  “Oh, I love Falcon presents.” She grinned ear to ear.

  “Not nearly as much as I do,” I sang back to her.

  The door opened and in came Falcon carrying two huge crate like cages. One was pink with black polka dots and one was bright orange. He set them both on the ground and went back outside without a word. He came back with bags and bags from the local pet store. Nellie crouched behind me and whispered, “I see pet care products. I’m scared.”

  “No shit—I swear if he brings a rat in this house, his ass is grass and I’m the lawn mower.” She and I backed up in a synchronized motion.

  “No, no, no, he knows how we feel about rodents. There’s no way.”

  Just then Falcon came back in holding two identical cardboard boxes with handles at the top where the sides met.

  “Oh my God, he got us fried chicken.” Nellie screamed and I snorted—they did look like fried chicken boxes.

  Falcon laughed and beckoned us towards him with a wave of the hand.

  “Oh hell no, I’m not coming near you until you tell us what’s in the chicken boxes. You can forget it.” I knew he wouldn’t bring us rats or hamsters so I wanted to go see but Nellie had a death grip on my arms.

  “It’s two boys that want to see you.” He smiled.

  I walked over first and Nellie ran to hide behind the kitchen counter. I peeked inside the box marked ‘Poppy’ and absolutely melted. Inside the box was a tiny brown and white hedgehog, curled up in a ball.

  “Can I hold it? Is it gonna prick me?” I asked.

  “Nah,” he said and lifted it out of the box and handed it to me. He whispered in my ear, “This is Oak. He was the cutest one. But don’t tell Nellie.”

  “I hope you didn’t waste one of our kids’ names on this little guy,” I whispered back.

  “Nope, those are locked in the vault.” He pointed to his head.

  My back was still turned to Nellie and she wouldn’t let us have any slack. “You’ve got three seconds to tell me what’s in the box or I’m gone.”

  “Look,” I turned around and showed her the bundle of cuteness that I held.

 
“Holy shit on a stick,” she said and cooed her way towards Falcon, ripping her own bundle of joy out of his hands.

  “That one I named Maple,” he said as she opened it.

  She nestled and cuddled it for all of five seconds before turning her version of the stink eye on him.

  “Alright, what’d you do,” she asked.

  He laughed and kissed her temple, “Nothing, it had just been too long since I bought either one of you presents. I saw these little guys in the window of the pet shop across from the bookstore and decided we could all use some cheering up.”

  Nellie looked out of the window and for once in her life got very serious. “Ain’t that the damned truth.”

  Chapter 9

  Nixon

  I hate when people have hair on their earlobes. Come on people, that’s why wax and tweezers were invented. Gross.

  Mad was back in full force. He was actually smiling and having fun. We took a detour through Denver and then headed South towards Colorado Springs. He looked like he could breathe again—which was good and bad.

  The good was he seemed happy again. The bad was, he wasn’t giving me a moment’s peace so I hadn’t called Reed in almost a week. I knew she had to be freaking out but it just couldn’t be helped. I couldn’t get away from him for one second. He had gone to the other extreme on me.

  Finally the next Saturday after we’d left Omaha, he bottomed out from hitting the Red Bulls too hard. He was knocked out cold and this was my opportunity to call her. I ran outside and hid behind the Rover and called her. It was really late at night but I hoped she wouldn’t get caught. Mad and I both knew that we were putting her at risk but he needed her lifeline and I needed a reprieve from the constant guilt clutching at my chest like a vice. I could at least say that I tried to keep them informed even though it was the wuss’ way out.

  “Hello,” she answered and I could hear her shuffling through rooms and open what I assumed was a door that led outside.

  “Hey, no dad in Omaha. We went through Taylorville, Kansas and then detoured through Denver. We are now in Colorado Springs. We go to see if his dad is here tomorrow. He’s fine. He’s kinda having a good time. I’m sorry it took so long to call, I just couldn’t get a break from him.”

  “Ok, thank you Nixon. I appreciate it.”

  “Dude, no calls to girls, remember,” Mad was coming around the corner towards me. Shit, I’m caught.

  “I was calling my mom, shut up.” I hung up on Reed, hoping that she heard him intercept me and knew why I’d done so.

  “Well, what’d she say? Is she pissed? Did she hear from my parents?”

  “She was just spouting out questions, I couldn’t get a word in edgewise then she had to get off the phone.”

  “Huh—well, I left my earbuds in the car,” he said.

  I unlocked the passenger side for him and he got the earbuds and went back towards the motel room. “You comin’,” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I answered and made my way in. I hope Reed understood and would know what to do when the time came because I could tattle tale with the best of them but I would not be able to face Chase or Sylvia Black by myself.

  Chapter 10

  Mad

  I wanna wear my pants backwards today like Kriss Kross. What?

  We woke up the next morning and the days of ignoring my nervousness came to a head with rolls of nauseated waves. I took a shower and this time not only could I feel the temperature but the droplets of water crashed into my skin like tiny shards of glass. I got out as fast as I could and wiped the steam from the mirror.

  In the reflection, though my brain kept pounding me with the knowledge that I wasn’t really a Black, I saw it. I was the perfect mix of Falcon and Owen. I had the complexion of Owen. I chuckled remembering that Nellie once called his face a baby’s butt plastered to a skull. She was so weird—in the very best way. My hair was just like Falcon’s, coffee black and straight. It was weird to think how much I looked like them even though I wasn’t technically their brother. Maybe the Big Guy had this in mind all along.

  I put on a pair of gray cargo shorts and a white t-shirt, walked into the room and planted my face in front of the air conditioner. If I didn’t get cold soon, I was gonna lose it. I wafted my shirt in front of the blowing air and willed myself to calm down. He probably wasn’t even here. This whole blasted thing was probably one big goose chase—one big mistake.

  “Ma’am, can I get you some cold water to help with your hot flashes?” Nixon smarted off from the other side of the room.

  “You can get some ice for your busted lip,” I popped back at him.

  “My busted lip—oh I get you, nice threat.” He shook his head and then took his turn in the shower.

  He took the longest shower in the history of mankind and then took even longer primping in the mirror. “Hey, Vanity Smurf, let’s go.”

  He rolled his eyes at me and began posing in front of the mirror.

  “Do these jeans make my butt look big,” he asked batting his eyes.

  “I knew I should’ve killed you and thrown you out for gator bait.” I said back.

  We got in the Land Rover and he wanted to eat but I insisted on going to the apartment first. I couldn’t even fathom eating while my stomach felt like a ball of swamp grass.

  We got to the apartment complex and we repeated the ritual. We sat across the street for a good thirty minutes when Nixon’s phone went off.

  “Who’s that?” I nodded towards his phone.

  “It’s the thirty minute alarm; that means you get your butt out of here and go see if it’s him.”

  “You seriously put an alarm on my freak out time?”

  “Yup, elbows and assholes, let’s go.”

  “What, are you coming with me?” God please let him not come with me, he’s liable to blow their mailbox up with firecrackers.

  “Yep, I’m coming with.”

  Perfect.

  We walked through the maze of apartment turning right and left and finally climbed a flight of stairs that led to the ‘G’ apartments. This Einer Macon was in apartment ‘G4’ and we found it immediately.

  He knocked and I looked at him with wide eyes. He did not just knock before I was ready.

  “What you wanted to wait for thirty more minutes? I ain’t got all summer.”

  A young Hispanic boy answered the door and we tried to ask for his mom, or his dad and I’m pretty sure Nixon told him ‘Merry Christmas’ in our lousy Spanish. “Let’s go ask the manager.” Nixon suggested after rolling through all of his Spanish words including taco, burrito and mesa.

  “Mesa means table you moron.” I said as I slapped him in the back of the head.

  “I know what it means, damn, I was just spitting out words.”

  We plowed through the maze again and found the manager’s office. He was an older man with a very impressive moustache. We asked about apartment ‘G4’ and he said that an Einer Macon lived there about six months ago but had moved somewhere in California. I knew I had found one Einer Macon with an address in Venice Beach, California and my gut told me that was the place I needed to be.

  Nixon stood behind the man as he spoke to me and while the man wasn’t looking Nixon said, “Are you sure Einer’s not hidden in his…” and then he pointed to his upper lip, running it from one corner of his mouth to the other, signaling that somehow my father must be hiding in this man’s massive ‘stache.

  I started laughing, more of a release of nervous energy than a response to Nixon’s comedy. The man brushed us off and slammed the door in our faces. I didn’t blame him one bit. Nixon didn’t say anything as we got back in the SUV and drove away. I knew he was pissed again. I had once heard him call California the ‘Land of fruits and nuts.’

  “So, Venice Beach, huh?” He said but he didn’t sound as pissed as I had imagined.

  “Yeah, you don’t mind, do you?” I cringed as I said it.

  “Do I mind going to the place where half of the girls stroll aroun
d all day in string bikinis? Um, let me think about it—NO!”

  “Did Nixon Black just admit to chick staring? I’m shocked! Anyway, we still have the rest of the summer, so we can take our time getting there.”

  “Good, now switch back to Fun Maddox and let’s go eat. And after that we’re going to see those cool sculptures.”

  Chapter 11

  Falcon

  I hate feeling distant when she’s right here next to me.

  This was not the first time she’d pulled this middle of the night stuff but I chalked it up to her Aunt Elaine calling or maybe Farrah. But lately it was getting more and more frequent. Her phone would ring and it wasn’t a ring that I recognized.

  It reminded me of when she was homeless. Sneaking around, trying to keep secrets—she wasn’t really good at it either. But I refused to be that guy. I refused to be the male who distrusted his girl just because she was sneaking around. But damn him if he wasn’t whispering in my ear. If Maddox ever decided to drag his sorry ass home, she would be my wife and this secret shit needed to stop.

  I closed my eyes and tried to look asleep as she crawled stealthily into bed. After a few minutes she turned her face into the pillow and I knew she was crying. Whatever these phone calls were—whatever was making her distant, it was making her heart heavy. If she would just let me, I would take it from her, bear the burden myself—anything to cease her pain and worry.

  I knew I was supposed to pretend to be asleep but letting her weep without holding her went against everything in my being. It just wasn’t possible. I moved closer to her side of the bed and she stilled, thinking she had woken me. “If you’re gonna cry and not tell me the reason, at least let me hold you.” I whispered against her ear. She rolled over facing me and snuggled into her spot, face against my chest, arms and legs knowing their place. She shivered as she continued to cry a deep, slow, heartbreaking gesture of sadness next to me. And I felt absolutely helpless to stop it. All I could do was be her buoy through this ocean of hurt—something to hold on to when the waves got too rough.