Hearten (Bayou Bear Chronicles) Read online

  “Alpha, what are you apologizing for? You owe me no apology.”

  Hawke bowed his head, which would seem like nothing to a human or maybe any other species, but to us, the Alpha bowing his head meant something huge.

  The Alpha bowed to no one.

  “I have kept Echo away, worried that seeing Martha with her…” he pointed to his neck. “I didn’t want to bring up bad memories or stress her out even more, and I knew Echo would try to heal her. You must forgive me, Rev. First I allowed your mate to be used as bait, and then I denied her the Coeur’s friendship. I denied your mate the chance to be healed. I denied Martha her friend.”

  I kept the Alpha on a pedestal, but seeing him like this reminded me that he was just another male trying, sometimes in vain, to protect his mate and most of the time going overboard.

  I wished I’d gone overboard.

  I should’ve never let her go without me.

  She’d asked for her laptop after she got back and made her apologies for not making the signing, claiming a medical emergency to the humans.

  The entire clan had brought us enough food to feed an army since Martha had come back. It turned out that my mate had been the one to bring food to the needy, the sick, the post-partum and everything in between. She was the unofficial food provider for everyone in need.

  Just as I was going to offer the Alpha something to eat, another knock came.

  “Hello, Rev.” The younger woman, about Martha’s age seemed frightened.

  “Don’t be scawed Mama, it’s just Wev. He wikes me.”

  “Hello, Timber. And…”

  The woman pointed to herself. “I’m Lana, Timber’s mother. Martha has done so much for us. It’s not much, but it’s all I can do.”

  She handed me a quilt, wrapped in a white satin ribbon.

  “You honor my mate and me with this gift. Thank you. I will make sure she gets it tonight.”

  “Thank you. And thank you for being who you are. My son says he wants to be like you when he gets bigger.”

  My own ability to speak ended when she made that statement.

  “I’m going to bring this to Martha. It will cheer her up.”

  “I wouldn’t go in there, Rev. Those two are probably crying and hugging.”

  For the first time, I didn’t heed my Alpha’s warning.

  As I opened the door, I didn’t hear the crying and moaning I expected. Instead, I heard Martha’s voice speaking to Echo softly.

  As soon as she saw me, she stopped.

  I swallowed my pride and laid the blanket on the bed. “Timber and Lana brought this for you. I thought you’d like to see it.”

  My mate nodded at me—a nod.

  She had words for Echo, but not me.

  Shutting her bedroom door behind me, I held onto the banister and got a grip on myself. This wasn’t about me. This was about her.

  Everything was her.

  My world was her.

  And she was my world.

  If Echo was helping her cope, then so be it.

  My job was to make sure she was happy—knowing that I wouldn’t always be the one to get her there.

  It was enough for me.

  Martha being happy was enough for me.

  Who in the F are you kidding, man? She’s your mate. If anyone’s gonna make her happy it damn well better be you.

  Echo came out of the bedroom next and passed me by.

  Part of me had waited there for her infallible wisdom.

  I received none.

  Later on, I heated up some food for my mate, who still hadn’t come out of the bedroom.

  “Hey, I made you something to eat. I think Tarrow’s mom brought this one.”

  “Thank you.” She spoke to me and I tried desperately not to jump for joy. “Can we talk?”

  “Of course. Why don’t you eat first?”

  “I haven’t spoken to you in days and you want me to eat first?”

  I blew out a weighted breath. “You’re hungry. That need is greater than whatever you want to talk about. Please don’t fight me on this. It’s my honor to take care of you.”

  Sighing softly, she picked at the food, taking a few bites, but mostly moving it all around to give the appearance of eating.

  “Okay, apparently you’re not going to eat. So talk to me.”

  I took the tray from her and put it on the dresser.

  “I feel wretched. I feel so many things, but mostly I feel awful for what I’ve put you through. I’ve been more trouble in the time we’ve been together than I have in my whole life.”

  I cocked one eyebrow and took her hands in mine. “That’s not really true. You’re like the perfect criminal. You look like this sweet and lovely, perfectly subdued female on the outside, but really you’re just all sorts of trouble—beautiful, ridiculous, dramatic trouble. And I’m so boring—maybe that’s why I love trouble.”

  Her face fell. “You’ll grow tired of trouble.”

  “Nah, that’s the thing about trouble. Your kind of trouble is unexpected, full of chaotic turns and twists. Speaking of trouble, I’ve decided something.”

  Instead of answering, she scooted closer to me.

  “I’ve decided to step down as the head Beta in order to spend as much time as I can with you. It’s already done and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. I will still be a Beta to our Alpha, but with a little less clout.”

  Jerking her hands away, she threw back the comforter. “No, you can’t. That’s what you live for.”

  I caught the hem of her shorts, shorts that were my worst enemy now, but would soon become my undoing.

  “That’s what I lived for, past tense. Now I live for us, Martha. I live for seeing you in the morning. I live for you ticking away at your books. I live for you putting me in my place and giving me a place to call home.”

  “It’s just a house, Rev.” Her black hair was a curtain hiding her face from me. But from the lilt in her voice, I knew she was crying.

  It killed me to see her cry, or hear her cry.

  Crying was out for me.

  “I didn’t mean this house, Martha. I meant you. You’re my home. And you know what a homebody I am. I like to stay where I belong.”

  Gasping at my words, she relented to my hold and sat next to me on the bed. “I’ve been not talking to you, thinking that you wouldn’t want to go through with the mating.”

  “Not talking to me is just like lying, mate. Don’t do that again. I’m here. You’re stuck with me no matter what you do or what you say or how many times you run out and get yourself kidnapped.”

  That got me a slap to my thigh.

  And it got her a long, deep kiss—one I’d been holding in for what seemed like forever.

  Martha

  The morning of our mating ceremony, I awoke alone. Rev had spent the night on Tarrow’s couch, trying to follow some semblance of tradition.

  Turning over, I saw a key on his pillow and a note.

  Martha,

  Don’t make me wait long. I have no more patience when it comes to you.

  You own every ounce of me.

  Rev.

  I didn’t get what the key was for, so I slipped it into the drawer beside his side of the bed and listened carefully. Echo had said she would be over early, but her early and my early were two different things.

  “Finally!” My bedroom door busted open and my mom and Echo barreled in. “Get your cute butt in the shower, lady. Those boys are up to no good this morning. They took Rev to town to get who knows what. I told them I’d tear out their livers if Rev was late. It frightened them a little and then I had to apologize. Nonetheless, it got the point across. Now go!”

  Nerves took over and I showered as quickly as possible.

  As I stepped out, I realized I’d forgotten to wash my hair.

  I scrubbed my head as fast as I could, turning my nervousness into productive energy.

  “What the hell? I tell you to hurry up and you take two showers?”

/>   Echo was in the bathroom, her back turned, handing me a big white robe.

  “This isn’t mine.”

  “Yes it is. That male of yours bought it for you—had it delivered to my house. I’ve been hiding shit for days.”

  Throwing the robe on, I wondered when he’d done this.

  My mom and Echo handled my make-up and curled my hair into long waves. My dress had been purchased by Echo. She said it was her wedding gift to me.

  It wasn’t white, but rather a cream color, and it crisscrossed in the front and hung down to my feet. I’d chosen to wear a simple pair of flats.

  “It’s not white.” My mom tsked.

  “For goodness sakes, Mom. I didn’t like the stark white ones. They looked artificial. I liked this dress. Do you really think Rev would let us go against tradition?”

  “No.” She laughed. “That male is as rule-following as the Alpha himself.”

  By the time they finished primping me, it was time to go outside. Rev had insisted on setting everything up. I didn’t even have a say in what flowers were chosen.

  He’d said he was teaching me a lesson about trusting him and also that little problem I had with micro-management.

  “How’s Hawke?” I chanced asking Echo. The Alpha hadn’t quite been the same since the murder of River.

  “He’ll be okay. He’s mourning his friend, but insists that our clan move forward. They had that a small service and burial when you came back, but he’s still having trouble.”

  I nodded and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The almost unrecognizable image in front of me was beautiful. Her pinked cheeks told of her joy and her anxiousness about what that day—and night held for her.

  And then my mom started bawling like a big baby.

  “Mom, come on.”

  She sniffled into a Kleenex, warned with a pointed finger by Echo not to muss me.

  “You’ve got a good mate. Make sure he knows.”

  I made myself look down knowing that if I caught sight of him before I hit the altar—it would all be over—the mascara—everything.

  I counted each footstep and named a thing I loved about Rev that I didn’t think I would.

  Which outnumbered my footsteps.

  One—He loved me more than the mate in my fantasies.

  Two—I couldn’t do him justice if I tried to make him a character in one of my books.

  Seven—He smelled like my heaven

  Eleven—He stared at me like I might not be real.

  “You’re not gonna run, are you, love?”

  The clan laughed behind us. Rev didn’t understand the meaning of whisper.

  “No. I’m done running.”

  He gave me a curt nod. He was wearing a pair of cream colored pants with a matching button down shirt.

  And no shoes.

  There was just no taming him.

  I didn’t even care.

  The Alpha spoke to us and the clan about mates, about the love that we shared that could only be compared to the Creator to His creation.

  He reminded us of how our mates were our home—no walls were needed.

  Our innate devotion and instinct would get us through anything.

  Private vows were spoken—though none were needed. Unlike humans, there was no separating, no worries about taking care of each other in sickness and in health, no concerns about for richer or for poorer.

  The moment we looked into each other’s eyes, those things were promised without words.

  I had just taken a little while to catch up.

  “You may kiss your mate and show this clan that you both are spoken for.”

  “Did you get the key?” Rev broke the fretful silence.

  “I did. I don’t know what it goes to, but I got it.”

  “Well, I wanted to do two things. I wanted to show you that my life from before is over and I’m a completely yours. And two, I thought you might need a place to get away and write. Or maybe I’ll go there, you’re a handful.”

  “I am.” I admitted without a fraction of guilt.

  “So, I turned my old cabin into an office for you. I had Tarrow buy the furniture from that place.”

  “The place with the girl whose eyes I almost clawed out?”

  “That’s the one. You can see it tomorrow—or the next day.”

  He closed in on me and pulled one strap of my dress down from my shoulder.

  “Or next week.”

  “Or next month.”

  “Wait, my mating gift is in my office.”

  He cringed and looked back down to the floor. “I accidentally found that. It’s there.”

  Pointing to the table on his side of the bed, he continued. “It came in while you weren’t speaking to me much. I opened it, not even thinking and there it was. I read the whole thing that night. You wrote a book about us—about me. Is that how you see me?”

  “No.”

  His dark eyebrows bunched together, showing me a hint of disappointment.

  “You, in that book. I didn’t do you justice. I tried, but I couldn’t quite capture it all. You’re better than words—it’s indescribable.”

  Rev reached around my neck and pulled all of my hair to one side, the side still wearing a strap.

  “You made me sound perfect.”

  A lone tear swam down my face. “You’re perfectly mine.”

  That night we solidified our mating.

  He found his home with me.

  And I found my sanctuary with him.

  Engraven

  “You’re an idiot.”

  Tanoak had run one errand for the Alpha and now thought his shit didn’t stink.

  “Yes, I am. I’m an idiot. But everybody knows that. It’s not a secret. Don’t look so pleased with yourself.”

  I wasn’t an idiot.

  Okay, so maybe sometimes I acted like an idiot in order to avoid responsibility.

  And sometimes it was just fun.

  And sometimes these people just needed to lighten up.

  I swear Rev hated sharing air with me—until I snatched the keys to the electric collar around Martha’s neck from old Horace.

  Now he had me running around like I was his gopher.

  Which I hated to admit, I kinda enjoyed. It gave me something to do, other than the menial tasks they usually gave me, in between doing what I did best—looking for this bear.

  “Why do you do this? She’s a cinnamon bear—not a black bear. We don’t…” Tanoak made a very disturbing hand motion trying to relay an act of mating. “…with other bears. I mean, we can, but we don’t.”

  What a sick bear.

  And they thought I was an idiot.

  “You need to go back to school, asshat. A cinnamon bear is a black bear—they just never turned black. And if you call me an idiot one more time, I will knock you into next week.”

  Now I knew how Rev felt with me around.

  “I think I hear your mom calling you.”

  I did not hear his mom calling. But I wished she would.

  She wouldn’t come around if he was close.

  I’d only seen her twice, but she called to me. Not with words or sound, but her scent.

  It called to me like nothing else I’d ever known.

  “Hey, my mom might be calling me, but at least I don’t live with my mom. How old are you anyway?”

  “Twenty-three.”

  He laughed and made it dramatic, doubling over and wiping fake tears. “You gonna mark your mate while your mom makes cookies in the other room—or maybe she’d like to watch,”

  Tanoak didn’t realize how fast I was.

  His ignorance became apparent as the blood drained from his face while my hands wrapped around his neck.

  I let go as soon as I knew I’d made my point—all of about three seconds.

  “Say another word about my family and I’ll finish the job.”

  Not that I would ever do it, but he didn’t know that.

  The little bastard walked away withou
t a word.

  Just the way I liked it.

  The night deepened as I sat, tucked in the arms of the Cypress tree, a mound of Spanish Moss my makeshift neck pillow.

  It had been weeks since I’d seen her.

  If her fur was cinnamon, then her hair was too.

  What color were her eyes?

  Inhaling deeply, I took in the smells of the swamp, trying to pick up anything remotely close to her.

  Our senses of smell were profound—catfish, alligators, mud, trees, moss, Eagles, I caught the scent of it all with only one drag.

  And cinnamon. Not the cinnamon we’re used to, ground up into powder and put into cinnamon rolls.

  I smelled cinnamon bark, diluted and soothing—a more mellow version of its powdered counterpart.

  It carried on the wind, the scent hadn’t come from the ground. It was fresh and crisp, unaltered by anything around it.

  She was in a tree somewhere.

  The only times I’d seen her, she was in a tree or making her way down from a tree.

  It made me wonder if she was hiding from something—or someone.

  Not mated—I didn’t smell a male on her.

  I didn’t smell anything with her scent.

  Usually people smelled like their environment a little—the laundry detergent they used, the candles they burned, the food they ate.

  She smelled pure and unfettered.

  It confused me.

  “Tarrow, get your ass out of the trees. It’s my turn. Go home.”

  Rev never put frosting on the cake.

  “I’m staying here. You go run perimeters. It’s fine.”

  A growl rang through the expanse between us.

  I smelled lemons and rain and knew it was Martha.

  “Okay, okay. I’m leaving.”

  One last glance was cast out into the swamp. And though I could smell her, I couldn’t see her, which was almost as bad as nothing at all.

  “She’ll come out when she’s ready.” Martha commented as I passed the pair.

  “Yeah—hope so.”

  The End.

  Engraven, Tarrow’s story, will be released early Spring of 2015

  Other Works by Lila Felix:

  Emerge

  Perchance

  Hoax

  The Love and Skate Series (Love and Skate, How It Rolls, Down ‘N’ Derby, Caught In A Jam and False Start)

  The Second Jam (A Love and Skate spin-off, coming January 2015)

  AnguiSH