Hearten (Bayou Bear Chronicles) Page 10

  Hell, it was never candy-coated with me.

  “Ouch. Okay,” she straightened her spine and cleared her throat, trying to maintain some semblance of business. “Name your terms.”

  “Mark me, run with me tonight, and then…” The words were stuck in my throat. “Make a decision on how we should proceed. But there’s one condition.”

  “Hmm?” She choked out.

  “When you mark me and run with me—you have to promise to allow your bear to take over. I will let my bear have control if you will.” My chest was hurting from what I was about to say, but this girl needed a challenge. “If afterwards you are still under this mindset that I will hurt you and compromise your career—then I will stay away.”

  She grunted. “You’re already staying away.”

  “I mean so far away that our bond will break.”

  My words made her stand up and turn her back to me. She covered her face with her hands.

  “You’ll have my mark.”

  I stood up, but didn’t join her. She needed her space. And I needed her to know that I meant business.

  “I am your mate whether you would have me or not. And if all this ends with you denying our mating—at least I’ll have your mark.”

  She sighed so deep and loud that I could feel it in my body. My bear was in mourning already. He missed Martha and his bear mate so much that it was causing him physical pain.

  It was risky, this business. I’d given her an ultimatum that could lead to my demise.

  But my gut told me otherwise.

  My gut told me that this is what she needed.

  That if she was put into a corner, she would choose us—and rightly so.

  “Why would you do this to me? I just need some time.”

  Another harsh truth was about to be delivered not so gently.

  “No you don’t, Martha. You want someone to chase you. You admitted it yourself. But I want all of you now. It’s horrible to say and I know I said I’d wait, but I want all of you now.”

  “Okay.”

  I laughed a humorless chuckle. “Okay, what?”

  “Okay, I will mark you tonight. Be at my house at eight.”

  I expected coldness. But her voice was thick with determination and promise.

  And then, just to drive the point home, she popped her hips back and forth—my own private show.

  My own undoing.

  Martha

  I’d paced my house from the time I got back until nearly seven.

  Fury boiled inside me. How dare he put me against a wall like this?

  It felt so good to be put against this wall.

  No one had ever put me against a wall.

  Unless he intends to keep me there and—oh shut up!

  He wanted all of me—he’d said it without any wavering and I never once got the feeling that he was lying to me.

  His truths were spoken not so gently. His truths were spoken, in a way that diced you up, put you back together and held you there until you realized how very real his honesty was.

  And he was right.

  I hated that he was right.

  I wanted to still be chased.

  But more than that, I wanted him to mark me as well.

  For an independent female, or one claiming to be, I craved him telling me what to do—to a point—as far as our relationship went.

  I sure as hell didn’t know what was best for me as far as Rev was concerned.

  I had to trust that the Creator had made him right—my mate would only do what was best for me.

  Which was the beauty and the pain of letting go.

  Frustrated with myself, I pushed forward, determined not to coward out.

  Before jumping in the shower, I set up the bedroom. It was cheesy, and totally unnecessary, but I wanted it to be right.

  My animal was anxious. She wanted this so badly, I could taste it. My skin tingled, raising the tiny hairs on my human skin thinking about his broad hands on my shoulders, on my waist.

  I’d chosen the spot I wanted to mark him that first day we’d shifted. When he was splitting wood on the wolves’ land I’d seen it then too.

  Closing my eyes, I could already see the mark on his skin.

  But could I see it on mine?

  Could I see the mark that signified my submission to being his mate?

  Yes, I could.

  The hot water ran out before I could control what was happening to me. I prayed there like I hadn’t prayed in a very long time.

  I prayed to the one who made me—made me with a bear inside me.

  I prayed for Him to soothe me, to give me the strength to let go and allow what He’d intended to take place.

  I prayed to allow my stubbornness to fall by the wayside and allow my bear to be free through me.

  And claim her mate.

  Dressing simply in a teal, strapless maxi dress, I brushed my hair out and let it go free. Usually I would’ve taken the time to straighten it and make it perfect.

  It didn’t matter anymore.

  My mate wouldn’t care.

  The doorbell rang, and I giggled to myself at the formality, but my standoffish behavior had caused him to be that formal around me.

  Reaching deep into my being, I consulted with the animal, the more pure and less daunting side of me.

  Are you ready?

  My bear usually spoke to me in broken sentences. Her need and values were so simple and carnal that she didn’t need a book full of words to tell me what she needed me to know.

  Mark. Bite. Need our mate. Need him close.

  Don’t worry, I assured her. We are going to make him ours tonight.

  “Hi.” I answered the door. He stood, again with his back to me. The muscles in his back twisted as he crossed and re-crossed his arms across his chest. He wore only a pair of shorts.

  Less to take off.

  “Hey. Are you sure?” Rev didn’t turn to face me. It was as if he were perched on the edge of the porch just waiting to bolt at my resistance.

  History wasn’t on my side.

  “I’m ready. Please, come in.”

  Finally he turned and came in the door. Pine and Spanish moss scents filled my home in seconds.

  “I set something up in my bedroom. Unless you want to wait.”

  He reached out, and with a rough hand coupled with gentle movements, he stroked the side of my face. My bottom lip felt the caress of his thumb along its length. His jaw worked as an inadvertent groan came from me in response to his touch.

  “I don’t want to wait.”

  I nodded and began to lead him upstairs when I was swept up in his arms.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Making this count.” Smiling down at me, he carried me upstairs and into my bedroom. The whole way, I rested my face against his chest, reveling in his smell and the feel of his skin.

  Oh yes, I could do this.

  He set me down and took in the scene. Maybe I’d gone too far.

  “You did this?”

  I nodded. “Yes. I thought I’d make it nice.”

  “Do you know the words?” He didn’t look at me as he spoke and I thought for the second time in his life, Rev was nervous. From this angle, I could see how long his eyelashes were.

  It should be illegal for boys to have those kinds of eyelashes.

  “I don’t.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I do. But I thought since this mating is less than conventional, that you should make up your own vows. Did you pick the spot?”

  Now he looked at me.

  “I did. The first time we ran together.”

  A weighted breath was blown in my direction. I closed my eyes and reveled in his warm breath on my face.

  “I need to tell you something first.”

  My stomach fluttered in anticipation. The air in my room thickened and shifted into a warm unmoving creature of its own, getting stuck in my lungs and clamping down on my throat. He thought that he would be the only one getting mar
ked tonight.

  But in the time between him giving me an ultimatum and him showing up at my door—I’d decided to accept his mark—if he’d give it to me.

  I’d realized that mating wasn’t about romance or dramatic declarations of love. It was trusting that this male was made for you before you even existed—and the rest would come in time.

  Because it was meant to.

  I was made to share my life with Rev.

  “Martha,” he took my hands in his. “I’ve known you were my mate for months. Before that, I’d waited for you all my life. I’ll do anything in my power to make you the happiest female this clan has ever seen. I’ll wear your mark with honor, even if you never wear mine. I will stand as your protector for the rest of my life and if the Creator is generous, He will let me see you beyond death. My bear and I give our lives to you. I surrender it all to the female I love.”

  I was crying by the end of the first sentence.

  “This way, you don’t have to make vows to me. This way, you’re not giving anything up.”

  I choked on my own words. “Rev, what if I’ve changed my mind? What if I’m ready to let you have it all?”

  Before I knew what was happening, he’d pulled me against his chest and was breathing down on me.

  “What did you say?”

  “I said, maybe I’m ready to give you vows.”

  He nodded. “Say your peace, female.”

  “I’ve been stupid. I wanted to be chased. The thing was, I didn’t know when it was time for the chase to be over. I am yours, Rev. I have been yours for a while. For some reason, I was grasping at any opportunity to keep you at bay. I’d conjured up all these fantasies about falling in love and being romanced. But the thing is, we have our whole lives to do those things. Right now is the most important decision I’ll ever make. I’m making the decision to mark you as my mate—accept you as my partner, my friend and eventually my lover. Plus, I already love you.”

  His heart was beating out of his chest.

  “You do?”

  “I do. The question is, are you willing to live with my stubborn ass for the rest of our lives?”

  “I am.”

  His mouth was against mine in one of our heartbeats. This time he wasn’t gentle. He didn’t test the waters or see how I’d react. His lips moved with a fury that couldn’t be matched. My back was against the wall and he made sure there was no space between us.

  I found sanctuary in his touch.

  A sanctuary I’d never known.

  Suddenly he pulled away.

  “Mark me now, Martha. I’m afraid you’ll change your mind.”

  I ghosted my hand up his arm until I reached those biceps—the ones that had called to me since the beginning.

  A few more words had to be spoken. I had to get this right.

  I looked him directly in his dark chocolate eyes and saw the urgency in his stare. There was no doubt that those were the eyes I wanted to be looking into for the rest of my life and beyond.

  “I mark you now, Rev, my mate for eternity, under the eyes of the Creator.”

  I kissed the spot, the tiny spot between his bicep and his shoulder, before sinking my teeth in.

  Rev

  A pain, sharp and cutting, sliced through my arm. But soon, a warm sensation took over for the pain. I’d watched her proceed. There was no hesitation. She’d chosen her spot well.

  Such a complete turn-on.

  “My turn.” I said, looking down at her. My mate stared at the bite mark she’d just made on my arm. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Pride rose unabashedly in her chest.

  “Look at me, Martha.”

  Deep pools of brown met mine. I placed my hands on her shoulders.

  “I am beyond honored to wear your mark on my body. I submit wholly to the mate claim, to you, Martha, my mate for eternity, and to the Creator’s plan with this mark.”

  Though I knew in my heart that this was the best thing to do, it suddenly struck me that I would be causing my mate physical harm.

  I promised myself it would be the last time.

  Sinking my teeth into her skin, she gasped and I sent up a prayer to the Creator in thanks. She tasted just like she smelled, like biting into a thunderstorm.

  As I pulled away, she shook beneath me. Sobs broke from her and I went into panic mode.

  “Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry. I had to.” Bolting into her bathroom for a towel, I came out and cleaned her shoulder of the blood. I shouldn’t have done it. I told her I would be the only one marked that night.

  “It’s not the bite. I’m so stupid.” A smile now coupled her sobs.

  My mate would always keep me on my toes. That much I knew.

  “You’re the furthest thing from stupid that I’ve ever known. What are you saying?”

  “I’ve been so stupid to fight this. This is what we were destined for.”

  Her mark had already stopped bleeding. I threw the towel aside and pulled her against me.

  “I’m not going to take anything from you, love. I’m going to make sure you keep it all.”

  She nodded against my chest.

  “Run with me.” I whispered against her hair, desperate for her affection in our other form.

  “Yes.”

  We walked together down the stairs and out the back door, her under my arm, much like we had the first time I’d escorted her home the night I knew she was mine. Outside, we wasted no time getting rid of the little clothing we had on.

  “I can’t.” Martha whimpered as she began to shake.

  “Come here.” I commanded. “Look at me.”

  Lifting her face, she met my gaze. “I will shift and call to my mate, my bear mate. She will answer my call. Don’t doubt it. They want to be together. It’s not up for negotiation.”

  There was no time for her to agree. She would relent.

  I reveled in the change. There was no pain, only evolving into another form. My neck became thick and furry. My nose elongated into a snout. My nails grew at once and sharpened into claws. It was as natural as being born over and over again.

  Mate. Shift now. Your male calls you.

  Martha felt her abdomen and arms, apparently looking for some sign of her bear. But there was none. I walked up to her and nuzzled my head into her hand and pushed some of my weight against her. My mate was stubborn, but this tactic of pushing a little harder than necessary was now—necessary.

  Female of mine. Shift and run with your male. Let our bears unite.

  It worked. The change overtook Martha in a flash.

  Run with me. I can see your mark.

  And I yours.

  Into the swamps we ran that night. We played at the waters’ edge. My mate showed me her favorite tree to climb. We toed carefully through the areas that were known for hunting. She loved to swim. Most of the night was spent splashing and jumping in the shallow, murky water.

  There was no more question of our future.

  My future was Martha.

  And somehow, by the grace of the Creator, I was hers.

  Finally, as the night turned to day, my beautiful mate slumped against the roots of a Cypress tree in exhaustion. I lay next to her, and she moved her head against mine—too tired to continue on, but unwilling to give up my touch. I fell asleep with my mate’s top half thrown across my belly, pawing at the fur on my neck.

  The sun rose sometime later. A noise had awakened me, but I wasn’t sure what it was. Another snap in the distance woke my mate, who was still on top of me.

  And then I smelled it—grizzly.

  Grizzly bears stunk to high heavens—it wasn’t a bad smell per se—but more of a pungency.

  Grizzlies—home.

  We both took off at a high speed run, taking no time to leisurely wake up or find out who was on our lands. The precious warning about the wolves had been spread among the clan—they already knew, so it would come as no surprise.

  As soon as we reached her home, we dressed quickly and bolted for
the Alpha’s house.

  “Alpha, we apologize for the early intrusion.” Both Martha and I bared our necks.

  “Come in, Betas. I was just getting up. Is there a problem?”

  “We smelled a grizzly in the swamp.”

  The Alpha’s demeanor changed from friendly to business in a second.

  “Echo is still sleeping. It takes a lot to raise a cub in your belly. Come in. I see marks have been exchanged. Martha, we will need you to be in on meetings from now on. Your position in this clan is very important. I realize you work various hours, but we will need you here as often as possible.”

  I looked at Martha and was prepared to hear her deny the offer.

  “I understand, Alpha. I will serve you the best I can.”

  “I know you will. Let’s call in the other Betas and double up on security.”

  We walked into his office and took seats while he made the calls.

  “Alpha, I can resume my previous runs. I stopped when you called me to be head Beta, but with this threat, I can start up again.”

  He waved me off. “Absolutely not. You are a permanent part of the leadership of this clan. In my absence, should there be one, you will need to be here, protecting my mate and your own. We can’t take a chance on putting you in danger.”

  Though the Alpha was years my younger, there was no denying the power behind his words.

  Not to mention, the honor inside me at heeding them.

  “Oh good! Martha is here! Finally someone who can deal with Rev’s grumpy ass.”

  A few minutes later, Tarrow, the bane of my existence, strolled in like he owned the place and high-fived my mate. I felt the slight twinge of jealousy, but with her mark apparent to everyone in the room, I didn’t want to kill them all—just choke them a little.

  Really, I had always wanted to choke Tarrow.

  “Are we having a meeting without me just because I’ve got a cub in the den?”

  Echo entered and pointed to her belly. The room’s Betas showed her the due respect as she took her place beside the Alpha.

  “I see you got over yourself, Martha?”

  My mate chuckled at her friend. “I did. It took me long enough.”

  River entered last and there was no seat to be had. I didn’t wait for her permission. Reaching over to the seat next to me, I hefted Martha onto my lap. “There, have a seat.”