Engraven

  Copyright@ May 2015 Lila Felix / Rebel Writer Productions, LLC

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  Cover Design: Reverie Design

  1. Young Adult Romance 2. Paranormal Romance 3. Shifter Romance 4. Fantasy

  Engraven

  Bayou Bear Chronicles (3)

  “Your needs before mine.

  Your heart with mine.

  Your happiness above mine.

  Your life tied to mine for all eternity.”

  Tarrow

  If I could just see her eyes, the rest would be so easy.

  “Did you patrol or just scent out your mate?”

  Rev thought I was his…well, it was not a word I would say around females, let’s put it that way. I wouldn’t say that word in front of many people.

  You get the drift.

  He thought I didn’t take anything seriously. That’s why he constantly rode my ass. Even when I’m doing the right thing, he found another lesson to sneak in.

  Beta doesn’t mean Yoda.

  Someone tell him.

  And buy him some shoes while you’re at it. Martha carries a pair for him around in her purse in case they go somewhere they are required. He’s a caveman.

  When I didn’t take the bait, he continued. “I don’t understand why you don’t go after her. I know she scents you, if you scent her. It’s a mistake not handling your mating as soon as possible.”

  He was relieving me for security detail and I couldn’t take him seriously when he was stripped down to his boxers and writing things on a clipboard with some of those elder-looking reader glasses on. Just one time, I was going to flip that clipboard and make it pop him right in the nose.

  Everything I do is a mistake to the beta.

  Rev said the word ‘mistake’ to me seventeen times a week. No really, I counted one time.

  I haven’t rebutted him this morning out of respect, but even that’s running thin as he gives me unwarranted and useless advice with a stern look.

  I knew I needed to go after her. There was no use for him to grind it into me anymore.

  Something told me she wasn’t ready yet.

  Plus, part of me was hoping she never would be ready.

  I wasn’t sure exposing my future mate to the daily Tarrow-bashing would be good for her—or my ego. Not that I had much of one left.

  Enough was enough.

  “You avoided your mate for months and y’all fight like a pack of hyenas to this day. Lecture me on pack security all you want to, but get your nose out of my mating.”

  It was a low blow, but I didn’t give a damn. He needed a taste of his own medicine.

  I turned my back on him and decided to quit my patrol a few minutes early, which was fine since Rev had shown up to his shift early—as usual—checking up on me. Tearing myself out of range of her scent killed me, but I had other things to tend to. Plus, her scent and knowing she was so close was driving me bat shit crazy in the best way possible.

  And I knew she turned human, at least once in a while. We all did, that wasn’t the surprise. But the amount of time she spent in the woods alarmed me—made me think she was getting away from something—hiding from someone. The smells of human things carried with her scent—beef and laundry detergent—things we didn’t eat or use in bear form. The reason I even questioned it was the amount of time she spent in the woods and the swamps—and only recently. We’d never scented that bear before and someone would’ve known that bear just by her appearance.

  It wasn’t every day we came upon a cinnamon bear.

  Hearing Rev mumble his disapproval as I walked away wasn’t anything new. I knew what people thought of me in the pack. They thought I was some kind of loser for still living with my mom. They thought a bear of my age should be living on his own. They thought I was one of those slacker types who didn’t know which direction they wanted to go and probably never would.

  They had a real hang-up about the mom thing.

  For a species that put their females on a pedestal and would do just about anything to please them, they sure did have some underlying machismo.

  It was their problem. I didn’t offer advice on their lives.

  I did what I was supposed to.

  I worked.

  I worked my ass off.

  I paid my bills and doubled my percentage to the pack every month in order to keep our pack lands in better conditions.

  I never missed a patrol and took another shift anytime any of the others needed to miss.

  Yeah, I joked around. I had to. These guys are too serious for their own good. Someone had to provide some comic relief or we’d all turn into petrified wood.

  “One day you’ll listen to me.”

  “One day you’ll shut up.”

  “Remember your place in this pack, Root.”

  That nickname—it wears on my nerves like nothing else. Rev watched some show where Hawaiian people eat Taro root and decided that even though my name was spelled completely different that it would be funny to start calling me Root.

  Creator forbid he watch that Marvel movie where the tree is named Groot.

  It was the only damned joke he had, so I let him get away with it, but him only.

  “I know my place in this pack. If you’d quit coming down on me every second of the day, maybe you’d see that I’m not that bad.”

  I shouldn’t have talked back to him. Rev, other than the Alpha, had his shit together. He handled everything like he was the Alpha. It was no wonder he was the first Beta. He deserved that. Shit, sometimes I wished I could be more like Rev—and I could if he’d quit riding my ass.

  As I approached my house, Aspen sidled up to me and took up pace. “Hey, I need you to take my shift again. Please?”

  Begging made the bear-man next to me sound pathetic. There was only one place for begging, that’s what Rev said, and it was to no one other than your mate.

  From what I heard, Rev did a lot of begging.

  “Again? I just took your shift last week. What’s going on with you?”

  He grabbed my arm and stopped me from walking, looking around to make sure we wouldn’t be overheard. The way Aspen whispered, there were bears miles away that could hear him.

  “I’ve got a date.”

  My head automatically canted at his confession. We don’t date. We waited for our mates. It was just a given. There was no point.

  “I’m sure your future mate is going to love to hear that. And she won’t be able to help being mated to a manwhore.”

&nb
sp; Manwhore was a bit much, but he got my point.

  “Look, it’s just a date. We’re not doing anything else. Nothing that my mate would need to know about. You know?”

  I shrugged. “You need a job and to take your shifts. Trust me. A little work will do wonders for taking your mind off—mating.”

  He didn’t budge, so I relented. Taking his shift was better than leaving the security of our pack up to that moron. “Fine. I’ll take the shift. When is it?”

  “Tonight.”

  Of course it was that night. Of course it was the night where I felt like I would barely be able to get home, much less take another’s shift. I needed sleep and food.

  Other than our mates, sleep and food were always at the forefront of our minds.

  Scrubbing my hand over my face I nodded in agreement. It would give me more time to hear my mate.

  Aspen left with a shit-eating grin on his face. All that was going to catch up with him someday.

  Constantly, I crave that ounce of contact with her, even though it’s not contact at all. I thought about her all the time, even when I was supposed to be busy with other things. I wondered what kept her in the woods constantly. I couldn’t blame her, of course. There were times I’d love nothing more to stay in my bear form forever.

  Humanity made things complicated.

  Most of all, I wondered what she looked like in her human form.

  Though, by nature, whatever she looked like would be perfectly what I wanted—The Creator made it so.

  I always thought that eye contact was the only way our kind could meet their mate. And technically, I hadn’t met my mate, but I knew it was her. When she made noises in the trees, the sound cut through me like a plea for me—and only me.

  But that same knowledge gnawed at me. I knew, instinctively, if I went after her that she’d regret seeing me. Maybe not regret, but she’d be scared. Maybe she wouldn’t be scared at all.

  If she was scared, I promised I would hold her until it faded.

  Her cinnamon coat made me smile, even from afar. I’d gotten shit about that from Rev too.

  Like his growly ass didn’t light up every time Martha came in the room.

  That was how it should be.

  He treated me like a punk and it was rubbing off on the Alpha too. They both never let up on me.

  “Hey, mom.” I yell, entering our house. My mom had been lonely since my dad passed away, but it was through her that I really understood the rules of our kind. If my mom had died when my dad did, I would’ve been an orphan. Yes, someone in the pack would’ve taken me in immediately, but it wouldn’t have been the same as being raised by my own mother.

  “Tarrow, how was patrol?”

  “Same as always.”

  “She’s still in the trees?”

  “Yeah. It’s like she’s hiding from someone. It kills me. Maybe she just likes the trees. I don’t know.”

  After placing a bookmark in her paperback, she gets up and goes to the kitchen. The smell of gumbo fills my nose and makes my stomach growl. My mom has made gumbo every Sunday since I’ve been little—maybe before that.

  “After you eat, is there any way you could check on your sister? I’ve been calling but she doesn’t answer.”

  “Sure, Mom. You want to walk over there with me?”

  “Yes. I will. I didn’t want to go alone.”

  “Your leg bothering you again?”

  “A little. It always does when the weather gets cold.”

  “Have you eaten? Taken your pills?”

  She smiled and shrugged. “I was waiting for you to get in.”

  She waited for me to eat. I was lucky to have loving parents and to have one left. I knew that some bears weren’t.

  “Come eat with me, then. Sit down. I’ll fix you a bowl.”

  I divvied up two portions, one for my mom, who was served first, and then one for myself. I made sure she had everything she needed before I took my seat, including all of her medicine.

  What Rev and even Hawke didn’t understand was that if I moved out of my mom’s house, then she would be alone. My sister wasn’t very good about visiting, especially since she’d just had twins.

  I saw no dishonor in showing my mother some care after she’d done nothing but be a loving mama bear to me all these years.

  I couldn’t just leave her because human social protocol and some burly bears said I had to.

  Rev and Hawke were pricks.

  I’d never say that out loud.

  Never.

  My mom eyed me with every bite. I knew there was something she wanted to know.

  “What, Mom?” I laughed. “I see you making that face.”

  “If you want to move out of here, you can, you know. I will be okay.”

  I scrunched up my eyebrows and wondered for a second if she could read my mind since I’d just been thinking about the same thing.

  “Why would you even say that?”

  She pooched out her now wrinkling lips to the side. She knew something and wasn’t telling me.

  “I know what people say, Tarrow. Everyone else your age is out on their own, going to college, finding their mates. And you are here, helping your aging mother and taking too many security shifts.”

  “I don’t care what people say about me, Mom. You shouldn’t either. If I wanted to move out, I would. It doesn’t make me less of a male because I live here.”

  “They’ll see one day, son. They’ll see what you are and the things they ridicule will be things that are respected.”

  I nodded, mostly because I didn’t want to argue with her.

  I’d come to the realization that I would be the butt of pack jokes for a long time coming. That was part of the reason I hadn’t gone after my mate.

  Being mated to me meant being mated to the pack idiot.

  “Let’s go see Angel after I shower.” I said when we’d both finished our lunch. I got up from the table and put the dishes in the sink. I’d have to do them later. Some days like today, I could see the way my mom’s fingers ached.

  The cold usually made her pain worse.

  “I’ll make Angel a big bowl of gumbo. That way she won’t have to cook tonight.”

  “Tonight?” I questioned. My sister never cooked.

  “Shush you. Go get your shower.”

  After visiting Angel and making Mom leave, I changed into a pair of shorts and shucked my shirt. There was no use in wearing clothes when I stayed in my bear form most of the night.

  I even pulled a Rev and went without shoes.

  Walking through the pack lands to the place where males changed security shifts, I took notice of the changes since Hawke took over. Hawke invoked a list of minimum standards for the houses. He’d taken inventory of each house on pack lands and what upkeep it needed.

  We were being led now instead of praying for a leader.

  Not to mention, the Coeur, whose mark shined brightly in every decision Hawke made.

  The cubs of the pack were going to school on time and regularly. The Coeur implemented a reward system for the kids that gave gifts and pack privileges in return for good grades and attendance.

  I couldn’t imagine what our pack would be without Hawke and his mate.

  At first, Hawke dismissed me as a beta, only to call me back after Rev’s mate was kidnapped.

  “You again? What happened to Aspen?”

  Rev scribbled something down on a clipboard. He didn’t rat on anyone who didn’t show up for security rounds, but he did praise those who took the others’ shifts. Except me. He didn’t see how hard I worked and I didn’t know why I constantly tried to prove my worth to him.

  I guessed I had daddy issues since my dad died when I was young.

  Rev was a male to look up to. I guessed he gave me shit all the time for the same reason—he was trying to teach me.

  I wouldn’t admit that to anyone.

  “Said he had other plans, asked me to take over.” I yawned, but tried to cough it out. I did
n’t want Rev thinking I wasn’t on my game and dismiss me. More than anything, I wanted to be out here listening and waiting for her.

  “Seems like that boy has plans every weekend. Something I should know about?”

  “None of my business.”

  “You’re good tonight? You look tired, Root. Want me to call someone else in?”

  My eyes were already trained on the swamp in front of me. “I’ve got this. Who else is on tonight?”

  He shook his head. “Nobody. You’re on your own tonight.”

  “That’s fine.”

  He replaced the clipboard onto a nail, hammered into the trunk of a Cypress tree, and checked his watch. “I’ll come in halfway through and relieve you. Instead of six hours, meet me back here at three.”

  My posture stiffened at his words. He didn’t trust me to stay up all night. Once again, he thought I was irresponsible. A Grade-A screw up.

  “I said I’ve got this.”

  He turned a scowl in my direction. “Three—hours.”

  “Yes, Beta.” I cowered, submitting to his will even though I didn’t do that to anyone but the Alpha and the Coeur. It was sarcasm, shifter-style.

  The gesture was uncalled for, but I did it anyway. Before he can come back at me, I shifted right there, letting my shorts and boxers shred.

  My snout always formed first and the bear licked at my chops, ready for action. My fingers elongated, nails turned to claws, and skin turned into black fur-coated paws. Turning into my bear feels like being set free after being stuffed into a sleeping bag for days at a time. Except, lately, I hadn’t gone more than twenty-four hours without shifting—the security of the pack depended on loyal members like me.

  I ran north first, trampling past Rev’s old cabin. I stopped at the window and sniff before looking in. Neither Martha nor Rev are there, so I looked in, just to make sure I’ve covered all my tracks. I’ve covered the trail backwards on purpose—that way I end up in the place where I’ve seen and scented her first.

  The lands were secure and I didn’t scent anything out of the ordinary. For hours I traced the path. There were indentions in the swampy areas around the pack lands and in the grassy areas, the line runs barren from bears running it ragged. It was nights like tonight that security runs are more boring than Rev talking about the finances of the pack.